Saturday, January 14, 2012

Guitar Hero: The Crime (published in Tickled Pink)

I always wondered about baby 911 calls.  I mean, what are the odds that your baby accidently hit 911?  Well, I learned the hard way this past weekend.  I was testing out my new Guitar Hero game while Ivy was sitting on the couch next to me.  Doug was in the house at the time, so I could justify my half-way parenting moment.

On my third try at a particularly frustrating song, Ivy kept grabbing the phone off the table.  I finally took it away for good.  As I was turning the phone off, I scolded her for messing with the phone, as it was interrupting my oh so important game.  About ten seconds later I was speaking to the good ol’ PD.   When they asked if everything was alright, it didn’t really sink in that they were calling per our request.  It was only after I responded with a very confused yes, that she informed me that they received a 911 hang up call from my house.  Mortified, I told her it must have been my one-year-old, as I had just taken the phone from her. 
It might be paranoia, but I could swear the woman did not believe me.  She sent someone over “just in case.”   How I wished I had gotten dressed already, but there was no time to worry about that.  I had to hide the guitar!  I would hate for Doug to know that the cops were coming by for a visit because I couldn’t tear myself away from my new and very fun video game.  Furthermore, I wouldn’t want the cop to think that I am one of those mothers (you know, one of those that I apparently am). 

As I was quickly tidying up, Violet asked what was going on.  I told her that the police were coming over because Ivy had dialed 911.  Almost immediately I realized mistake.  Three-year-old Lily’s bottom lip was quivering and it was nearly contorted into a Popeye-like expression when she asked if the police man was coming to take Ivy away to jail.  I quickly assured her that police officers don’t take babies when the doorbell rang.

I tried to convince the officer that everything was alright while he was standing on my doorstep, but it was clear that he would feel better if I invited him in.  So there I stood…tye-dye t-shirt, pj pants, and three girls lined up in a row, wide-eyed and quieter than I had heard them in days.  We just stood there until I broke the silence by saying, “see girls…the police man does not want to take your baby to jail for accidently calling 911.”  I am not sure if he left because he believed everything was okay, or if he was afraid one of the girls might ask him to take her baby sister with him…if only for a day.  He didn’t look like the diaper duty kind of officer.  He bolted out of here right quick!

Needless to say, Mommy only plays her Wii in the wee hours of the night now.

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